I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
