who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.