Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.

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  (845): I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says. http://tfl.nu/83ho
  Replies (36) Good night (4260) Bad night (689)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn

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  (302): I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn http://tfl.nu/trfc
  Replies (14) Good night (5416) Bad night (1362)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.

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  (303): I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/1fh9
  Replies (23) Good night (1074) Bad night (5357)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.

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  (484): It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over. http://tfl.nu/cnrb
  Replies (1) Good night (1774) Bad night (740)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?

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  (828): Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober? http://tfl.nu/zgqd
  Replies (10) Good night (1951) Bad night (1348)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this

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  (760): searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this http://tfl.nu/chn0
  Replies (10) Good night (3119) Bad night (1358)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.

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  (414): oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv. http://tfl.nu/ywog
  Replies (7) Good night (4070) Bad night (851)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us

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  (919): I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us http://tfl.nu/0tdj
  Replies (2) Good night (1166) Bad night (1296)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids

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  (970): Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids http://tfl.nu/uov9
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (2190)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.

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  (570): I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands. http://tfl.nu/xt87
  Replies (5) Good night (666) Bad night (1675)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i want to face-plant into her vagina

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  (617): theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot (617): i want to face-plant into her vagina http://tfl.nu/1iml
  Replies (10) Good night (2524) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.

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  (773): I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in. http://tfl.nu/6fvt
  Replies (8) Good night (1624) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.

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  (720): So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together. http://tfl.nu/i6go
  Replies (12) Good night (2004) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.

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  (610): I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast. http://tfl.nu/ocy2
  Replies (4) Good night (802) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later

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  (414): Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later http://tfl.nu/j0j8
  Replies (3) Good night (438) Bad night (447)

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