Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman

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(424): View more from California

I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick

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(513): View more from Ohio

I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead

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(609): View more from New Jersey

He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(281): View more from Texas

Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.

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(914): View more from New York

You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.

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(518): View more from New York

I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.

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(904): View more from Florida

Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon

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