you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.