Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌