so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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