So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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