you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
