I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
we should paint friendship bongs
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
