Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
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my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
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She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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