Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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