you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize