my shit smells like andre
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.