heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
