Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.