He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
