This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
