I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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