If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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