Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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