I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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