I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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