Cold hands, warm shart.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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