he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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