I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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