Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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