Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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