i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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