Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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