You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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