Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
