You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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