I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
