I have demons in me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize