why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
