one might say we're banned from that church
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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