...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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