bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
