We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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