I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
