it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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