the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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