i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
