shes about as inviting as chlamydia
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
