he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
