I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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