we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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