I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
