I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
