these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize