Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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