I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
