That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
