with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
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so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
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I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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