it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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