Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
