I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
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Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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