Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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