yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
