I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
