I faked an abortion last night.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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