You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
