he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
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Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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