We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
