I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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