He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
NoShamevember. You game?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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