I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
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