I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
