found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.