Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
