I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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