can u get pink eye on your cock?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize