And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
